Limbo
by theoddestcastle
Summary: "I wished I had died in Afghanistan."


AN: This takes place two years after Remembrance. You might want to take a look at that OS before you read this. Otherwise, you won't know who some of these characters are. I wasn't sure if I wanted to post this particular piece, it didn't seem to satisfy me. But, I figured that I would just throw it up here and see what the people think. If you didn't know this by now, I love Soldier Booth with all of my heart.

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><p><strong>Limbo<strong>

It was an unusually cool afternoon in August. Booth sat on the back deck of the temporary Dupuis household, located right outside of Fort Polk, watching as five boisterous children ran around in the yard. As he watched the little ones play, he lost himself in contemplation. He and his family had made the traditional summer trek to Louisiana, but this time it was different. So much had changed in the last year and things would continue to change in the coming months. Booth didn't know what was going to happen next, none of them did. But he knew that they all had to stick together, and remain the strong unit they had formed years ago.

As the children started up another game of freeze tag, Booth heard familiar footfalls behind him. The tone of shoes against the deck's wood was different, it wasn't the quick and firm strides he had grown accustomed to hearing over the years. It was slow and unsure.

From the corner of his eye, Booth watched as a figure slowly sat in the cushioned seat next to him. Booth reached into the cooler between the two seats and pulled out a can of ginger ale. Popping the tab, he set it down on the armrest of his companion.

"Ella and Temperance are inside getting dinner started. Where did Luca go?" He inquired gruffly as he surveyed the children running around, in search of his oldest son.

Booth took a swig of his own ginger ale and set it down. "Parker took him out to see a movie. How'd your appointments go today?"

Duper shrugged indifferently. "Went as well as it can be."

Booth shifted his seat so he was facing his friend and saw the lines of melancholy on his face. "You don't sound very optimistic."

Duper traced the plastic of his prosthetic leg, his weathered hand flicking away an invisible piece of dust. "Due to my family's history, the doctor's said I have a high risk for relapse."

The news of possible relapse was like a punch to the gut. As Duper's former NCO, Booth was very familiar with the Dupuis family health history. "So what happens now? What's the next course of action?"

Duper scratched at the two-days worth of salt and peppered stubble along his jawline, as he thought back on his earlier visit to his doctor. "During the Skype call with the hematologist in New York, they informed us that the next step is a bone marrow transplant. A sibling donor would be most successful. However, Amelia is severely allergic to seafood and latex. Tristan is allergic to Amoxicillin. They're automatically out. The doctors will have to check the BMR."

Booth knew that the sooner his friend could get a transplant, the better. He thought for a moment and finally suggested an idea the came to his mind. "We can do a bone marrow drive. We'll arrange one here and one in DC. We can contact the Bone Marrow Registry, get a representative to come down with some DNA kits, and everyone can get tested. It could increase your chances."

Duper shook his head. "I really appreciate the help, Booth. But, I honestly don't know how much more of this I can take."

Booth gave his friend a bewildered look. "What are you talking about? You can do this! You got through the induction rounds of chemotherapy and achieved complete remission. Now you just have to finish the consolidation rounds. You still have a long road ahead of you. Just hang in there."

Duper let out a shaky breath as he felt the sting of tears in the corner of his eyes. "Even if I get through these next few rounds of chemo, the percentages and odds, aint sitting well with me. And there could be a huge possibility that they may never find me a donor."

Booth sat up in his chair, his brows furrowed. "What are you saying?"

Duper crudely wiped away a tear that managed to escape. "I wish I had died in Afghanistan."

Booth immediately felt his heart drop to the bottom of his gut at the confession. More than that, he felt anger. "Shut the fuck up Dupuis. Don't say shit like that. You don't mean it."

Duper scoffed, his face void of any emotion. "Do I, Sergeant Major? Nine months ago, I get blown up and lose my damn leg in Kandahar. When I got back state side, I had to uproot my family from our home, to another town so I can be closer to the Warrior Transition Command. Three weeks later, I get diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia. I should've died back in Afghanistan. It would have been a much more honorable way to go. Lying in a damn hospital bed, hooked up to all kinds of machines and shit, isn't the way it's supposed to be. I don't want to go out like this."

"You're starting to sound like a damn fucking coward Dupuis. In all the years I have known you, you have never backed down from a fight. I know all about what happened, good men died that day. There's a reason from a higher power, why you were the only one who got to live."

Duper could no longer hold back the stinging of tears in his eyes. He let it flow. "That day in Kandahar, I got to live, just so I could home and die like this? No way. I'm so fucking sick and tired of being sick and tired. All of this chemo is taking a toll on me. I can't eat properly. I can't drive my babies to school, I can't help around the house with simple tasks, and I can't even take a damned piss with out getting exhausted. Why did God, allow me to survive that mortar attack, so I could come home and die from leukemia? Can you explain that to me, sir? Cuz I can't seem to figure it out for myself."

Booth pointed to the backyard where Brennan and Ella had joined the children in their new game of Sharks and Minnows. "Take a real, damn hard look at that beautiful family of yours, Declan. They are the reason why, God let you walk away from that mortar attack. He let you live, because he wasn't ready to call his greatest son back home. He let you live, so you can come back to your family and be with them longer. As for your AML, I can't explain that. No one can. Things like that, happens. It's apart of life. It's biology."

"All of the crappy stuff that happens to us, it all paves a way to something greater. This, your illness is just another roadblock. You and I both know, that life is too damn short to dwell on asking why and being pissed off. What's more important, is the fight and getting better. You have been through so much already. We'll get you through this too. You can't quit. You need to keep fighting for your family. We are going to have the Bone Marrow Drive. We are going to find you a match, and you are going to New York to get that transplant. I haven't given up on you in eleven years, so you damn well better not give up on us. We are going to fight this, together."

Duper watched his wife and children laugh and run around, as he soaked in the words of his friend and mentor. A film-like strip of memories played in his head; meeting Ella for the first time and their marriage, the birth of their four children, his career with the US Army and the Louisiana National Guard. He saw flashes of numerous deployments, the lives he had taken, and the brothers he lost. He saw all of the times he should've died, but managed to live.

Duper wondered if all of those times he danced with the Devil and won, were all leading up to his present situation. If he had come home in one piece and went about business as usual, would he know of his illness? Sure they would discover it eventually, but by the time that they did, would his AML be too bad to even achieve remission? It hit him all at once. Getting his leg blown off, was really a blessing in disguise.

Shocked at the revelation, Duper looked at Booth, with a glint of renewed hope in his eyes. He remembered the first time he ever met his mentor and later, is family. He imagined what life would be like if they had never crossed paths, and he didn't like it one bit People came into their lives for a reason, and Duper knew that the Booth family came into his life to save him and his family. And like every day he woke up, he thanked the big man upstairs, for blessing him with amazing people in not only his life, but in the lives of his family as well. He was ready to continue his fight.

"We're all going to do this together?" Duper questioned, needing to hear the reaffirmation.

Booth nodded. "Always together, until the end of the line."

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><p><strong>Warrior Transition Command<strong>: a command providing care for recovering soldiers from serious injury or illness. They help set the conditions for healing and promote the return of the soldier to the force or transition back into a civilian lifestyle.


End file.
